For Toni

For Toni, I…

…am writing my first post in four months.

…made a mad dash after work to Barnes & Noble yesterday, to pick up as many of her books as I could get my hands on to put in my permanent collection. (Like everyone else, apparently.)

…celebrate my blackness and humanity more.

…listened to as many interviews as I could find posted on the internet yesterday, just to hear her voice.

…”Liked” the same pics of her over and over again, because they were being posted by different people who all felt compelled to take time out of their day to pay tribute to her and it felt like community.

…unexpectedly burst into very real tears when an amazing woman in her own right shared a story of how her writing played a role in the achingly beautiful love story the woman had with her now-deceased husband. It made me acknowledge – out loud – that I crave that kind of love.

…have resolved to operate with more grace when confronted by open racism – which I had to learn throughout the day today thanks to Twitter.

…acknowledge the imperfections in me and in this big world, and accept that there are some things that I will not change in this lifetime, but there are many things that are very much within my power to change in my time.

…will remain  grateful for – and humbled by – the many blessings and lessons I’ve experienced thus far, and continue to be amazed and unapologetically jubilant as more manifest.

…am listening to the rain pour outside while sitting in blissful silence inside my home…typing away for reasons solely my own…with a salt lamp glowing in the distance and “Song of Solomon” sitting to my right side laying limp for the next few minutes before it carries me into my bedtime.

…live.

 

 

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